i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
