with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
