speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
