OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i just had sex bonerless
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
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