I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
