You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
