There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
