Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
God I need to hump something, right now.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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