Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
