Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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