shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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