I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
