Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
