Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
