I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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