He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
