We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
