you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize