We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Someone signed my nipple.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize