question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
