Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
