End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
where are you?
Hypothermia
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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