they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
