At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
