AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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