singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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