My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
