Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
