if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
