First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
please come you make the beer taste better
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
this is an emotional support booty call
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
