you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
