we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
you are never too drunk for berry picking
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Randomize
