she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
