she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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