I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
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