I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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