We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
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