I just cut my nipple shaving
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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