we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
vagina is talking i cant
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
