my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
