I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
