he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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