Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Im part way to drunk.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
