wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
