Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
