good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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