You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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