When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
