My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
