I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I believe in your delicious
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
