Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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