I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
