Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I want a musical about memes.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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