Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
