So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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