yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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